


Stealing Back Time

by NightmareSparklePony



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-04-06 11:04:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19061356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightmareSparklePony/pseuds/NightmareSparklePony
Summary: Steve is determined to save Bucky Barnes and to hell with the timeline.





	Stealing Back Time

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Looking For A Place To Hide](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18635140) by [whendoestheshipsail](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whendoestheshipsail/pseuds/whendoestheshipsail). 



> 2023 Steve goes back in time to save Bucky in the past in as many timelines as he can.

**Chapter One: Departure**

It wasn’t until after it was over, after Tony had sacrificed his life to save every other living being in the universe, that Steve searched out Bucky. He’d briefly spotted him during the fight, but neither had time to do more than exchange a cursory nod. When he saw Sam and Shuri kneeling over a prone figure, he felt a lump form in his throat. This was his biggest fear-to bring Bucky back only to lose him again.

Steve dropped what was left of his shield and ran over to the small group. Sam was examining a cut over Bucky’s eye while Shuri held his head in her lap. “I think it’s just a blow to the head,” Sam told Steve. “We’ll get him to the infirmary at Stark Tower.” 

Even with all she was going through, Pepper had offered the use of the former Avengers headquarters as an infirmary and command center to aid people dealing with The Returned. Shuri motioned a hover craft to them and helped Sam load Bucky onboard. When Steve attempted to join them Sam shook his head then motioned to the group of people surrounding Tony’s body. It was an honor guard to carry away a fallen hero.

“You belong with them,” he said. “Don’t worry. I’ll watch out for him.”

Steve watched them lift off and head to the city with a fleet of other craft. They had not gotten away completely unscathed and Steve wondered how many had returned only to meet their end in this battle. Slowly, he walked across the rubble to meet the other heroes to form the last detail for the man who saved the universe.

***

Bucky was resting comfortably in a private room of the infirmary when Steve arrived. “How is he?” he asked Shuri, the person who knew Bucky’s brain better than anyone.

“It appears to just be a concussion,” she replied. “But we won’t know for sure until heregains consciousness.”

He entered the room quietly and pulled a chair up to the bed. Bucky looked just as he had when he had first come out of cryo-stasis. Steve remembered how hopeful he had felt at the news that Bucky was ready to be awakened after only a month in stasis but from the look on Shuri’s face he should have known something was wrong. 

“So you’ve done it?” he’d asked hopefully. “You’ve removed the triggers? Bucky will no longer be a threat?”

“I’ve done the most I can under the circumstances,” the teenager had answered. “It’s best to wait until he’s awake so I can tell you together.”

When Bucky awakened, he started to shiver. Without thinking, Steve had climbed into the bed and held him close to warm him. It had felt so natural, the way their bodies had fit together, that he wondered why they had never done this before.

Finally, Bucky had awakened and stirred. Steve did not let go. Bucky looked up at him and whispered, “Steve?”

Afterward, neither one could remember who had moved first and later decided it must have been a simultaneous decision to press their lips together. At first, it was chaste, but Bucky found his courage and deepened the kiss.Steve’s senses then came alive and he returned the kiss with vigor, pressing Bucky into the mattress. Bucky pushed him away and breathlessly said, “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Steve had nodded. It had never been something he had consciously acknowledged, but he admitted being unable to take his eyes from Bucky’s lips whenever he talked and that twinge of jealousy he’d had when his friend was kissing someone else. At the time he had convinced himself it was because he never had a girl of his own to kiss but now he knew it was Bucky’s lips he had always coveted.

There was a knock on the door that by reflex caused them to part and sit up on the bed. Shuri entered and, if she was surprised to see them together, did not show it. Of course, she was a child of the modern age and of a country where different sexual orientations were not only accepted, but celebrated. “I’ve got something to tell you, Sergeant Barnes.”

“It’s Bucky,” he said, taking Steve’s hand in his own. “Please call me Bucky.”

“I know you expected to remain in stasis until your triggers were removed,” Shuri said hesitantly. “But I found something.”

Steve squeezed Bucky’s hand. “Just give it to me straight,” he’d said. “What’s wrong with my brain?”

“Have you ever heard of chronic traumatic encephalopathy?” Bucky shook his head.

“Like what boxer’s and football players get,” Steve offered. “From repeated blows to the head.”

“Yes. But to a much more extreme case,” Shuri said, as she produced a 3-D image of Bucky’s brain. “This is what it looked like when I first scanned it.”

Steve noticed the holes in the slide to the left, which resembled a piece of swiss cheese. “Doesn’t the serum help repair the damage?Eventually won’t the holes fill in?” Steve thought maybe there was a chance the prognosis wasn’t so dire. Maybe what Shuri was trying to tell them was that because of the new tissue, some of Bucky’s memories would be gone. But there would still be a chance to make new memories together.

“What’s the one on the right?” Bucky asked.

Steve noticed in that slide there were more holes and the previous ones appeared larger. “This is the scan from this morning,” Shuri replied softly. “Sargent…Bucky, I’m so sorry.”

Steve felt Bucky let out a deep breath. “It shouldn’t be possible. Cryo-stasis should have stopped the degeneration,” Steve said firmly. “There must be some mistake.”

“There’s no mistake,” Bucky said. “I was out on my own for two years and if I was going to heal, I would have.” He looked at Steve with sad eyes. “You know I just barely recognized you in Bucharest. Not much more than that day on the hellicarrier. But there were days, days like when we were in Siberia that I remembered. I really remembered.”

Steve pulled Bucky into his arms and held him tight. “Isn’t there anything we can do? Will it advance slower in stasis? Maybe we can…”

“It’s Bucky’s decision,” Shuri replied. “It may advance slower, but the disease will still progress.”

“No,” Bucky said, sitting up and swinging his legs to the side of the bed. “No more stasis. If this is all the time I have left, I don’t want to sleep through it.”

Steve stood beside him. From the look in Buck’s eye, he’d known there would be no arguing with him. “Well I guess that’s it then,” Steve said. “Let’s go home.”

“Goodnight,” Shuri had said when they walked out the door. “Just know I’m going to continue working on this. It won’t be enough to regenerate tissue but may slow it down and give you more time.”

The irony of that Steve thought now. More time. With unlimited Pym particles, time practically had no meaning. Maybe he could go back to a time before Bucky had been taken by Hydra. Better yet back to before the war. Give in to their feelings and just head west. But that wouldn’t be his Bucky. His Bucky would still be here, living out his last days without Steve by his side.

He remembered that night. Steve had taken Bucky to his quarters. He had never asked if that was where Bucky wanted to go. Once there they kissed again and it wasn’t long before their clothes were strewn on the floor of the apartment. Steve had paused when they bumped the edge of the bed. “I don’t know what we are doing here, Buck,” he’d said as his ear was tugged by Bucky’s teeth.

Bucky chuckled. “I think I have an idea.” He then shoved Steve onto the bed. A flash of memory had run through Steve’s mind. Rounding a corner only to be stopped by the sight of Bucky, balls deep in the mouth of a man on his knees in front of him. He was pretty sure that anger he had felt was jealousy rather than recrimination. Now he paused to wonder how much experience Bucky had with men. 

Bucky had taken his time. Licking, biting and kissing every inch of Steve’s body as if trying to map it in his memory. By the time he entered him, Steve was desperate with need. Somehow Bucky was gentle and fierce all at once. That night Steve knew a truth that he’d been denying since his youth. Not that he was gay, he didn’t really believe that was the case, but that he was and always had been in love with Bucky. 

When they were resting in each other’s arms afterward Steve laughed. “Good thing we didn’t know about this when we were younger. We’d have never left the apartment.”

Bucky kissed him playfully. “Would that have been such a bad thing?”

The next morning Shuri had visited them with more information. The girl must have worked through the night looking for a cure. “I’ve been testing this formula all night,” She said holding up a vial of amber liquid. “It dramatically slows the process, even compared to cryo-stasis. It’s a treatment, not a cure, but it will give you a bit more time.”

“What’s the darker formula?” Steve asked. He had noticed a larger vial of orange liquid in her other hand.

“I call it Daybreak,” Shuri said softly. “At first I thought it was a cure. It seemed to reinforce nerve fiber and cause reconnections to occur throughout the brain.”

Bucky smiled sadly. “But there’s a catch.”

“The effects are short-lived. Based on the live span of the test subject compared with humans, I’d estimate twenty-four to thirty-six hours. Maybe a little more for Bucky because of the serum,” Shuri explained with tears in her eyes.

Steve held tightly onto Bucky’s hand and breathed, “So, one last good day.”

Bucky went to the girl and held her tight with his one arm. “It’s Ok,” he said with a smile, then pulled away and wiped her tears. “We’re not there yet. Right?”

Shuri nodded and tried to smile. “Right. You’ll know when the time has come. When the bad days outnumber the good. When you don’t know yourself more often than not.”

After Shuri had given him an injection of the “maintenance” formula she told them of the house she had arranged for them. It was remote and private. Bucky’s condition was aggravated by loud sounds and bright lights, much like people with migraines.

Before they left, Steve had one question he needed to be answered. “Why did it take so long for the mind wipes to affect him? I mean between the Russians and the Soviets they had him for over seventy years. Wouldn’t this condition have killed him a long time ago?”

A fierce look can over Shuri’s face. “The Russians thought of brainwashing as much an art as a science. They used trigger words along with the wipes to get their results.The only time they turned the level up high was if something went wrong.”

Bucky nodded. “Like in ’73 when I missed my extraction and went home to Brooklyn.”

“They made it a point to never use The Winter Soldier in the United States unless absolutely necessary. It was much too risky,” Shuri said in agreement. “It took too long afterward for him to recover enough to go on more missions.“

“What about the Starks?” Steve asked. “He killed them in the States.” 

He felt immediately ashamed when he saw the hurt look in Bucky’s eyes. “I remember going back. The wipe….but they didn’t put me back in stasis right away. Instead, I trained with the kill squad.” He pounded his fist on the table. “No wonder they had such an easy time with me. I was so confused and sluggish. It was if I was fighting underwater.”

“From what I can make out from the records,” Shuri replied. “They put you in stasis with the rest of them and limited your use for the next two decades. The damage was done where you were turned over to the American Section of Hydra.”

“When?” Steve asked with guilty suspicion. “When did they remove him from stasis?”

Shuri pulled the information up on her tablet. “March 26, 2014.”

Steve punched the wall, causing an indentation in the drywall. If only he’d known sooner, Bucky’s brain would not have been damaged. If only Pierce were still alive so he could kill the man himself.

“There’s no way you could have known, Steve,” Bucky said softly. “They didn’t have the trigger words, or if they did, they didn’t want to use them. I remember the technicians telling Pierce he was using too much power during the wipes. That it could damage me beyond repair. But he told them it didn’t matter. After Project Insight I would be obsolete equipment. The Winter Soldier would no longer be needed.”

Steve gathered Bucky in his arms and held him tight. It was a miracle Bucky had been able to break through all that and recognize Steve. If only…Those had to be the saddest words in the universe.

They moved into a cottage near a lake and spent their days working in the garden and taking care of their livestock. At night they explored each other's bodies and gave each other pleasure neither had ever imagined. Shuri had delivered a beautiful vibranium arm on one of her visits, saying it was the least she could do. Bucky reluctantly accepted worried he’d hurt someone, but Shuri and Steve convinced him he should be able to live what was left of his life without limits. That night Steve discovered he had a new kink.

It was Bucky who said the words first. One night, with Steve still buried deep within him, he whispered, “God. I do love you, punk.”

Steve had pushed the hair from his sweaty brow and replied, “I think I’ve always loved you, Bucky.”

“Oh, I always loved that skinny guy from Brooklyn,” Bucky said, kissing Steve on the nose. “But it took me a while to come around on Captain America.”

Steve had assumed Bucky only wanted him after the change, so was surprised to hear that even before the War he’d had a shot with Bucky. “So what convinced you,” he asked.

“Your eyes. They’re the same. They see me the same,” Bucky confessed quietly. Steve kissed him gently and felt Bucky’s smile. “But man, that ass. That ass sealed it for me.”

“Marry me,” Steve blurted out, suddenly. “Let’s make it official.”

“Steve, you don’t have to do that. I know you want to take care of me and be here for me, but that doesn’t have to include marriage.”

“That’s not the reason,” Steve told him. “Call me old fashioned, but I’d really like to marry the love of my life.”

“Ok. Yes!” Bucky answered. “I’m old fashioned too.”

Steve remembered how sweet those first few months were. He’d almost convinced himself that Shuri’s maintenance drugs had halted the progress of the disease. Maybe he and Bucky would get their happily ever after.

Then things started to change, almost imperceptibly at first. Bucky would get headaches in the evening and started to have trouble with his eyesight. He didn’t like wearing glasses even when Steve told him how cute he was in them. 

They planned their wedding for the beginning of September. It would be a small gathering with their friends from Wakanda. Steve felt bad that Natasha, Sam, and Wanda were unable to attend since they had “gone dark” on their latest mission. Steve had told them of Bucky’s condition but had not offered any details of their relationship. The look of pity in their eyes was bad enough without the added layer of awkwardness that would be there if they knew how much he loved him.

The morning of the wedding, Steve had gently kissed the back of Bucky’s neck and nibbled his ear. “Knock it off, Stevie,” Bucky said as he swatted him away. “That tickles.”

“Then get a move on, Buck. We don’t want to be late for our own wedding.”

Bucky gave him a strange look. “Don’t be silly, Stevie. We can’t get married.”

Steve felt his stomach drop to his knees as he asked, “Why’s that, Bucky.” He was expected the answer to be that they were men and Bucky’s had forgotten that they were allowed to be in love and even get married.

“Because we’re twelve, punk,” Bucky replied. “You can’t get married when you’re twelve. Everyone knows that.”

“I know,” Steve said, forcing a smile. “But we are having a party and we need to get dressed up for that.”

“For my birthday?” Bucky had said, excitedly.

Steve had quickly changed all the plans for the wedding to a birthday party for Bucky. T’challah and Shuri, as well as Queen Ramonda,  had been so understanding and gracious. When Bucky had become upset because he couldn’t find his mom to show her the goats, the Queen had stepped in and allowed Bucky to lead her to the barn. For the rest of the evening, he called her “Ma.”

The next day Bucky was mortified. He had not remembered anything from the time he and Steve had made love then drifted off to sleep. For days afterward Steve couldn’t have sex with him for fear he’d become his thirteen-year-old self during the act. Then a couple of weeks passed with no incidents and their routine went back to normal, including their sex life.

Three and half weeks later, Bucky awakened as The Winter Soldier. He recognized Steve as his handler and had to be instructed to perform even routine functions. He was in that condition for thirty-six hours.Steve didn’t want to think of what had been inflicted on his love that caused him to flinch if Steve moved his hands too quickly and the quiet stillness that ran over the Soldier when he was touched. When Bucky returned to himself, Steve gently asked, “Did they…when you were The Asset…were you raped?”

“I don’t remember,” Bucky had said, then added when Steve rolled his eyes. “Honestly, I don’t remember. Thankfully that’s one of the memories lost in my swiss cheese brain.”

Their sex life suffered and, though there was more to their relationship than that, they found themselves bickering and becoming impatient with one another. Steve was afraid he’d either end up raping a thirteen-year-old or a traumatized assassin. In the end, they compromised by allowing penetrative sex only when Steve was on the bottom, much to Bucky’s frustration. He could hardly mount an argument when the memory lapses started occurring every eighteen to twenty days.

Thanksgiving came and T’Challah and his family went all out for the traditional American celebration. Bucky’s excitement caused Steve to think he had slipped back to his thirteen-year-old self until Bucky grasped him on the shoulder and said, "Don’t take it too hard, Steve. I’m sure Peg would be here if she could.”

For the three days, Bucky was the soldier he had been during the War. They camped out in the woods with T’challah and M’Baku during the night while Bucky scouted ahead during the day. Steve noted the duration of the lapses was increasing and it had only been fifteen days since the previous incident.

Sam called a couple of weeks later, requesting Steve’s assistance retrieving Chitari wreckage in Iran. Bucky encouraged him to go, saying they could both use a break from each other. He was gone for ten days and when he came back on Christmas Eve, Steve discovered Bucky had lost the use of his prosthetic arm.

“Why didn’t you let me know?” He’d asked. Steve wouldn’t have gone if Shuri hadn't been able to reach him.

“There was nothing you could do about it,” Bucky said, kissing Steve softly. He deepened the kiss and pushed Steve onto the sofa. When he climbed on top, Steve could feel Bucky was soft.

Steve pulled down his trousers and worked Bucky with his mouth without success. Bucky pushed him away and when Steve looked up he saw tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He pulled Bucky to him and held him tight to prevent him from leaving. “What good am I like this?”

“Baby,” Steve crooned in his ear. “It’s not about sex. We were in love with each other for almost twenty years without that. And we knew this would happen. That it was part of the disease.”

“I just thought we’d have more time,” Bucky said clinging tightly to Steve. “We’re not there yet, but we’re getting close.”

“Close? Close to what?”

“The end of that line we always talk about,” Bucky replied quietly. He propped himself up to look Steve in the eyes. “We’re getting close to Daybreak.”

Steve knew he was talking about Shuri’s final mega dose of serum. After that, there would be no going back because the drug would destroy the surrounding brain tissue as it dissipated. 

“What do you want to do?” Steve asked. “Anything you want.”

“I want to get married,” Bucky said. “I want all of your friends there. Maybe if you tell Tony I’m dying he’ll RSVP.” Steve shook his head. “I don’t want a funeral so this is going to be one hell of a party.”

“Anything else?” Steve wondered. “How about a honeymoon?”

Bucky laughed, “Oh, yeah. I want to get laid. I just want to spend every last moment with you.” Steve kissed him and they fell asleep on the couch that night.

Christmas and New Years came and went without another incident of memory lapse, however, Bucky’s physical condition deteriorated. Shortly after the first of the year, he lost the sight in one eye. It was not all bad though. More often than not he was able to perform sexually and Steve was happy to oblige. Once again he felt he could catch his breath.

Then, Steve spent the entire week before Valentines Day with the Winter Soldier. He had discovered giving the Asset little missions to accomplish was the best way to manage him. On Valentines Day it's self, Bucky was the young soldier he had been during the War, insisting that Steve needed to get dressed nicely for his big date with Peggy. They even went to a store to buy her a gift. Bucky settled on a locket. He said, “You see here. She can put your kid’s photo’s here.”

Steve had felt sick. Bucky thought Peggy was the love of his life as much as Steve had? What if he had kissed him then, Steve wondered. He was tempted to kiss him now just to find out but didn’t want to risk making Bucky uncomfortable and perhaps even ruining their friendship.

By Bucky’s birthday, the memory lapses were even longer sometimes lasting ten days. Steve was pleased, but a little surprised, that he was able to share Bucky’s last birthday with him, not thirteen-year-old Bucky or the Winter Soldier. He could no longer deny that the end of the line was coming quickly. They were getting precariously close to having more bad days than good, however, there was no date set yet for their wedding.

As the disease progressed, Bucky spent more time sleeping due to the powerful painkillers needed for his headaches He still enjoyed working on their small farm, especially feeding the goats, but needed help most days due to his physical limitations. When Steve got a call from the number on the phone he’d sent to Tony, he was tempted to ignore it.

After talking with Bruce and seeing the destruction in New York, they mutually decided that Steve had to go. They had no choice but to help keep the Mind Stone out of Thanos’ hands. “When you come back,” Bucky said as he kissed Steve goodbye. “It will be time.”

When they went back to Wakanda, Steve knew they were on borrowed time. Bucky had decided to take the Daybreak serum so he could better help with the fight. “What will be the point of waiting, if it's the end of the world,” he told Steve over the Sat phone. “I owe it to Wakanda to fight for them.”

Steve saw no point of arguing. “We’ll get married right after we kick some alien ass,” he replied. “On the bright side Sam, Nat, and Wanda will be able to attend.”

Bucky laughed. “Sam can be my best man and Natasha could walk you down the aisle.” Steve knew it would be a relief to Bucky for him to have friends there for what happened afterward.

Steve’s breath was taken away when he saw Bucky on arrival. He’d almost forgotten how alive and vibrant those gray-blue eyes could be. He should have kissed him right there in front of his friends, but years of instilled homophobia only allowed for a gregarious hug.

Bucky pulled him aside as they were going to Shuri’s lab, pushed him into a dark corner and kissed him deeply. “Come on, Buck,” he’d protested. “This isn’t the time.”

“There may not be any more time,” Bucky growled. “Besides, the science geeks have work to do and all you’ll do is get in the way.”

They made their way to Steve’s quarters, which he still kept in the palace. Once there Bucky had attacked with fervor, ripping down Steve’s trousers and taking him deep into his throat. Steve ran his fingers through the silky hair and found his release embarrassingly fast.

“It's OK,” Bucky smirked. “I know it's been a while.” When he took the glove off his left hand, squirted a generous amount of lube onto the metal fingers then held it up to him, Steve felt his cock jump in response. Bucky pulled his pants down as far as they could go then pushed him over the back of the couch.

“No,” Steve had whispered, causing Bucky to freeze. “No. Not no to this,” he clarified. “Just not like this. I want to see you. We still have some time.”

Bucky breathed a sigh of relief then knelt to untie and remove Steve’s boots, kissing his way down and back up. Steve was grateful he ignored his groin since just the thought of those metal fingers had him teetering on the edge. When he started to undo the intricate straps on his kevlar, Steve stopped him. “I don’t think we have that much time.”

“Damn,” Bucky replied as he ran his hand up underneath the jacket. “I was really looking forward to sucking on those sweet tits of yours.”

Steve felt himself blush. This Bucky was different from even from the one who had gone into cry-stasis two years ago. He was more self-assured and bold. More like the boy that had left Brooklyn all those years ago. If only he hadn’t been so afraid back then he could have gotten to know that boy as more than just his friend.

Bucky pushed him back onto the couch, placing Steve’s heels onto his shoulder. Once again he held up the metal fingers and looked deeply in his eyes. Steve nodded then watched as Bucky sunk two fingers slowly inside him. “Yes,” he whispered. Bucky laughed and undid his own trousers.

“Do you want another?” God, Steve did. Hell. If they’d had more time, he’d ask for the whole damn hand.

“I just want you,” Steve said. “For as long as we have, I want you.”

“I love you, Stevie,” Bucky whispered as he slowly entered him. “I’ll love you forever.”

They started slowly, but soon passion overwhelmed them and had them hurtling toward completion. They finished together just as the first proximity alert blared. Quickly, they dressed and kissed goodbye. “See you at the end of the altar,” Bucky said when he walked out the door. Steve decided he liked the feeling of carrying part of his lover with him into battle. They would win. They had to. Then he and Bucky would get married, retire to their cottage on the farm and.. Steve felt sick, thinking that in less than thirty-six hours it would be the end of the line for them even if they both survived the coming battle.

Everything was a blur after that. If you had told him days ago he would be fighting alongside a talking raccoon and a sentient tree, Steve would have called you crazy. Really, he shouldn’t have been surprised considering one of his teammates was the Norse god of thunder.

After the “snap”, there was that distinct moment of stillness. At first, Steve had thought Thanos’ plan had not worked. That despite collecting all the stones and snapping his fingers on his gauntlet covered hand, it simply didn’t work. Then Bucky disintegrated before his eyes and his world ground to a stop. Later the survivors discovered which of their friends and family were among “The Vanished.”

Maybe it would have been different if they’d gotten everyone back when they first went after Thanos, while Steve was still raw in his grief over losing not only Bucky but Sam and Wanda as well. During the five years that elapsed since then, Steve had fully mourned for Bucky and was on his way to moving on with his life. After all, Bucky had died fully himself and even if they hadn’t gotten married, they had a proper goodbye. If it hadn’t been for the others, Steve would have agreed with Tony that they should leave well enough alone. 

At first, when he didn’t see Bucky come through one of the portals, Steve had felt a surge of relief. Maybe he would not be forced to watch the love of his life decline and die in front of him once again. The guilt he felt over that thought plagued him as he watched over the prone figure.

***

“Get off. Off!” Bucky cried, making motions to push something off of him.

“It OK, Buck,” Steve said softly as he grabbed his hands and ran a hand through his hair. He was afraid the Daybreak serum had run its course early and Bucky was stuck in a horrific memory from his past.

Bucky’s eyes opened and he said, “God that was weird. Space dogs?” He sat up and looked around the infirmary. “Please tell me I don’t have space rabies.”

“No,” Steve said, sitting on the bed. “Just a bump on the head.”

Bucky crinkled his forehead with concern. “How long? How long was I out?”

“About an hour and a half, maybe two,” Steve answered. Bucky looked relieved. “Do you know how long it’s been since the fight in Wakanda? The Kid said the wizard told him that it had been five years but did he let the rest of you know?”

“Yeah. He told us,” Bucky said then pointed to the bedside table. “Can you get my watch?”

Steve handed Bucky the digital watch. His lover looked relieved when he noted the time. “You have somewhere you gotta be?” he asked.

“If I’m remembering correctly, I have a wedding to get to,” Bucky replied. “That is if that’s something you still want to do.” He suddenly looked embarrassed. “I mean, it’s been five years for you...It’s all right if you’re with someone else.”

“No,” Steve said, stroking the long hair. “There’s no one else.” He couldn’t believe he actually thought he had gotten over losing Bucky, that he thought for a second it would be for the best if Bucky had not returned.

They had called Shuri into the room, to let her know Bucky was awake and to tell her about the wedding. She was thrilled at the news, but Steve couldn’t help but notice the hint of sadness in her eyes. It was evident her consultation with Dr. Strange had offered no hope for Bucky’s condition. While Bucky was getting dressed, Steve had reminded her, “We need to do this for Bucky. One last good day, right?”

Steve regretted that a large part of that day was spent in a fight. Bucky was tired of fighting, he had been since Steve had freed him from Azanno, but would always follow him into battle regardless of the danger. This hadn’t been how they expected to spend their last days together.

Bucky and Steve were told to come to the deck of the tower. It was a gorgeous evening. Shuri was waiting for them with T’challah, Okoyo, Queen Ramonda and Wanda. When he hugged her Steve asked, “Where’s Sam?”

Wanda gestured to the street below them. “Out there. Helping. Half the population re-appearing is a bit chaotic.”

Steve was a little disappointed. He’d hoped to have his own family with them as well.He needed to talk with Sam about Natasha, but mourning that loss would have to wait. Duty would come first.

The ceremony was simple, performed by T’Challah. It was more a reflection of Steve and Bucky’s love and dedication for one another through the years than promises for the future. Bucky was surprised when Steve pulled the two rings from his pocket. “I didn’t think you’d remember.”

Steve had collected them when he visited their cottage to pack his belonging and had carried them on a chain around his neck for five years. “I’m not the one with the bad memory, Buck,” Steve said, earning a laugh from him and a shocked look from Wanda. 

“This ring is but a mere token of my love and devotion for you, James Buchanan Barnes,” Steve vowed as he slid the gray vibranium ring onto Bucky’s right hand. 

“I think I fell in love with you when I first saw your ass being kicked behind the deli when we were kids,” Bucky said with a smile. “I never thought we’d get to here. Could have never even dreamed it would be possible. And of course, it wouldn’t have been, if all the crazy things we’d gone through, good and bad, hadn’t happened.” He slid a gold-colored vibranium ring on Steve’s left hand. “I’m glad we got our chance.”

They kissed gently, both still a little self-conscious about public displays of affection. T’Challah and Shuri had cobbled together a small reception with a cake and some champagne. “Sorry this isn’t the extravaganza you had planned, Bucky,” Shuri said as they cut the cake.

“Extravaganza?” Steve asked, looking at his blushing husband.

A song came over a small speaker. “I was planning on a big band,” Bucky whispered as he wrapped his arms around Steve. The song was vaguely familiar to Steve, but he could definitely appreciate the lyrics. “At Last” indeed.

After the dance, the pair accepted well wishes and made their way to Steve’s quarters. It had been over eight years since he had been there, so he was touched that Tony had maintained them as a place for him to stay. 

“So who’s going to carry who over the threshold?” Bucky asked, slyly. 

“Well it is my apartment,” Steve replied, pulling him close. They began kissing and rubbing their bodies together. “We better decide fast before we honeymoon here in the hallway.”

Suddenly, Bucky jumped up and wrapped his legs around Steve’s waist. “OK. You win.”

Steve somehow got them through the door and onto his bed. He removed Bucky’s clothing quickly, ripping seems and popping buttons as he went. When he stood back to strip his own wedding attire, Bucky propped himself on his elbows and watched him with hungry eyes.

As he laid down beside him, it occurred to Steve that would be the first time they would be together when Bucky had all his memories intact, including brutal treatment from his captors. Gently he stroked his hair and said, awkwardly, “Are you all right with this? Your memories…”

“Are in the past,” Bucky said, softly. “All we have is now, Steve.”

Steve kissed him on the lips, all over his face. He then went about mapping his husband’s body with his mouth and fingers, committing it to his perfect memory. By the time Steve had made his way to his toes, Bucky was covered with a sheen of sweat and had spread his legs as wide as he could. “Please, Stevie. I need you.”

Steve grabbed the lube from his bedside table and quickly prepared himself and Bucky. They both let out a synchronized groan, as Steve entered him. Bucky wrapped his strong legs around Steve’s waist and they moved together slowly.Each time they approached completion, Steve would pause and let them back away from the precipice. Neither one of them wanted the night to end. If only he could stop time, Steve thought. Finally, they could not stop the impending climax and finished together, both collapsing with pleasure. 

Steve came to consciousness to the tapping of fingers on a keyboard. He rolled over to see Bucky staring intently at the screen. Steve felt sick when he noticed Bucky was wearing his glasses. “How long was I out?” he asked guiltily. He had intended to be present with Bucky for what little time they had together. 

“Just a couple hours,” Bucky said with a kiss. “You needed some sleep.”

Steve sat up beside his husband. “What are you working on so intently? Your memoir?”

“No. But maybe yours,” he said. “I’ve been researching Peggy. Her life. Her family.”

“Why?” Steve asked, confused. 

“I remember going to see her. Right after D.C,” Bucky said. “There was a man there. He came out of her room and he looked so familiar to me. He was older, but….it could have been you.”

“Buck. No,” Steve said, impressed at how well Bucky could use the computer. He had never really figured out how to use all the new technology. “Peggy was married to Daniel Sousa. Had children with him. Don’t you think I found out everything I could about Peggy when I was with S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“Daniel Sousa died in 1952, leaving behind a wife and two young children,” Bucky said. “I should know. I killed him.”

Steve felt a shock run through him. When he looked at the screen, he saw the pages were in Russian. Bucky was reviewing his own file that had been the source of Steve’s darkest nightmares for years. “Buck. Don’t,” he said as he pulled his husband to him.

“It was my first mission. It was supposed to be Peggy,” Bucky looked down in shame. “It was a test. To see if I could be made to kill someone I knew. I’m not sure if he got in the way or if I pulled the shot.”

“Not your fault, Baby,” Steve whispered as he kissed Bucky on the side of his forehead. As much as he liked Bucky being his true self, he hated the misery and guilt it brought him. “I still don’t see what that has to do with me.”

“Peggy remarried in 1956. But there are no pictures to be found of her new husband. No good ones anyway,” Bucky replies. “You can go back. Have a life with Peggy.”

“I already have a life here with you,” Steve replied. 

Bucky turned to look at Steve. “But not for long, right? If we’re lucky we’ll have a one more good day, two at the most.”

“I’m not leaving you, Buck. I can’t just…what live my life ignoring the fact that you’re getting your brain fried by HYDRA.”

“From what I understand about time travel, all that will already be in my past. And you won’t be leaving me. For you it will be decades of living your life, being happy. You’ll have been here for me the whole time,” Bucky explained as if time travel is the most ordinary thing in the world. He kissed Steve. “Meanwhile let’s make the most of what time we have.”

They spent the next few hours before dawn making love. Taking each other with passion until even their enhanced bodies were no longer able to respond. They talked about their shared past, the good times only, and laughed like schoolboys remembering some of the pranks they had played on their mothers and Bucky’s sisters. As he cradled Bucky in his arms, Steve quietly asked, “If you could go back, what’s the one thing you would change?”

“Well, I could do without the brain damage,” Bucky replied with a smile. Steve stroked his soft hair and nodded. “But the thing I regret most was not waiting for you. God, if I’d known...I wouldn’t have given myself away so freely.” Steve held him close, remembering the nights Bucky had come home to him, disheveled and unable to look him in the eye. Yes, if he had only realized his feelings for Bucky were beyond friendship and that they would be reciprocated he could have spared them both heartache. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve said as he rolled Bucky over on his back and kissed him. “There is no way you could have known. I was too afraid to admit what I felt until it was too late. Until you fell.”

“It’s all in the past,” Bucky replied, pushing Steve away and then rolling on top of him. “Nothing we can do about it now.” 

Steve wondered if that was true as Bucky kissed him. As the kiss deepened he found himself harden once again. Bucky remained flaccid against his thigh, causing him to become alarmed. Yet another symptom the Daybreak Serum was losing its power. 

“Damned, margin basement, serum,” Bucky whispered before taking Steve into his mouth. As Bucky worked Steve with his mouth, he reached for the lube then coated his metal fingers. He smiled around the large cock as it twitched in anticipation for what was coming. Instead of using those fingers on Steve, Bucky reached between his legs and inserted two inside himself. If he had not had a firm grasp around him with his right hand, Steve would have come right then. 

“Careful, Baby,” Steve crooned, thinking that his husband had to be the sexiest being in the universe.

“Sure wish I’d known how hot this made you sooner,” Bucky said as he removed his hand and scooted up onto Steve’s lap.

“You don’t have to do this,” Steve said, grabbing his hips and thinking that now that Bucky was losing his eyesight and libido, it was only a matter of time before his memory would go as well. “What if…”

“Steve, it’s fine. I’m fine.” Bucky kissed him on the nose, then sunk himself down onto Steve. “Besides, The Winter Soldier really just needs to get laid and being with you would have been a dream come true when I was thirteen. Heck of a lot better than losing my virginity to a stranger in a back alley for fifty bucks.”

“Buck, no,” Steve said, holding Bucky’s face with both hands. “Wish that hadn’t happened to you.”

"It was my choice," Bucky replied with a small smile. "Becca was sick. Dad was drunk and we needed money for a doctor."  


“Then let’s rewrite the history books,” Steve whispered. “This is our first time together. We’re in my bedroom. My mom’s at work.”

They kissed deeply, moving together. Despite never becoming hard, Bucky experienced a climax with Steve, as the sun cleared the horizon. Both knew the rewriting of their first time was also the last that they would ever share this experience with each other.

After a shower, they reluctantly joined Shuri and T’Challah for breakfast in the large kitchen. Steve remembered those times when he would be joined by Banner, Nat, and Clint for breakfast before they trained. Tony always slept in, but to be fair he usually was up until the early hours working on some inspiration. There was a message from Pepper that a memorial for Tony would be held that afternoon at their cabin by the lake. 

***

Everyone pitched in to gather all the friends, procure catering, flowers, and clothing. Steve wondered what the rush was, but Tony’s instructions were clear. He wanted everyone to move forward with their lives. After all, many had already lost five years of being with their loved ones and Tony was clear that no one should ever take time for granted.

In truth he was relieved. Very soon, Steve would be mourning the loss of his own spouse unless, of course, he followed Bucky’s advice and lived his life in the past. Then he would have years before he mourned Bucky’s loss and would not have very long to live without him. The question was, did he really want to live out his life with Peggy?

Gradually, as the day wore on, Steve saw that Bucky losing his coordination and his eyesight had weakened further. After the funeral, he pulled his husband aside and asked, “Are you sure about this? Do you really want me to go?”

“Steve,” Bucky said with a smile. “You’ll be right back. It will only be a long time for you.”

They said their goodbyes in private, having decided not to tell Sam of their marriage. He would find out later after everything was done so Sam wouldn’t insist that Steve stayed while he returned the stones. Steve just hoped Bucky would remember the plan when he returned and not be confused. “Remember the ring, Baby,” he whispered before they parted. 

Steve kept his eyes on Bucky as Bruce operated the equipment. His mission was to return the Infinity Stones to their correct timelines. It was stressed that those timelines were not to be altered, but Steve was sure that ship had already sailed. Loki had escaped with the Tesseract and Thanos from 2014 had been destroyed so those timelines had already been altered. 

As he disappeared into the time vortex, Steve gave himself a new mission: In as many timelines as he could, he was going to save Bucky Barnes. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is such a downer, but I couldn't figure out any other reason why Steve would agree to leave Bucky then come back as an old man. They would both be at the end of their lives together, won't they?


End file.
